future.

February 23, 2010

i’m looking up information on a masters program at UIC for computer engineering.
i’m also listening to really good electronic music.
i know i should continue my education as it will cost me nothing.
and it would be nice having a purpose and responsibility outside of my job.
but at the same time i’m worried.
basically about how much time it will consume.
but mostly if i can do it.

just looking at this information, and thinking about what i thought my life in chicago would be like a couple years ago; makes me realize i have very little figured out.
things are very different from what i pictured they would be.
not bad, just different.

i know i want to change the world.
but i don’t know how yet.
i just wonder if more school is really the answer, as i feel i don’t even use anything i learned in my undergrad.
i’ve been getting computer certifications, so in reality, i haven’t stopped learning.
but those are quick and relatively easy and i’m really good at them.
and my work pays for it.
but at the same time i’m running out of certs to get and wonder what i can do with the ones i do have.

i don’t feel like the m-f 9-5 work week is for me.
i like staying up all night, and going out, and having fun.
i wish i could do it every night.
i listen to lots of electronic music.
and feel like it’s something i could be very very good at.
and it would entirely accommodate to my desired lifestyle schedule.
with the possibility of becoming huge and playing sick clubs all over the world.
or at the least making some new friends and playing chicago.
i’m going to my first ableton live class thursday.
i feel this will either inspire or discourage me.
as cool as that sounds, at the same time, i see how many other people are involved with electronic music and are creating it.
despite most of them being from outside the states, i see how many other people are way more into the scene than i am.

regardless, i need to make some serious life decisions very soon.
i need to decide if more school is really right for me.

so.
electronic music producer, computer engineer masters student, or network security/hacking expert?

fuck.

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resolution redux.

February 16, 2010

so it’s been a bit.
i’ve been really productive lately and it feels very good.
here are some thoughts.

first – new years resolutions.

education – got network+, taking security+ next monday. been studying for the past couple days (see aforementioned productivity).
i need to talk to UIC and see what grad school is like. after i take security+ i guess that’s the next step. getting my masters is a good move i guess, even though i won’t use it, just make me more valuable at my work.

working out – been going to the gym ~2-3 times a week. i’m trying to get the motivation to go 4 times a week.

cooking – haven’t really been cooking anything big. but have been grocery shopping and have been bringing lunch to work thus saving lots of money.

babes – work in progress. after i get security+ out of the way, #1 priority.

music – i download probably around 30 gigs of new techno music a month. i listen to all of it. i’m also slowly getting back into rock music. baby steps.

tattoos – goal is to finish sleeve by summer. i have ideas for other sleeve and a few other cool things. but those need to wait.

travel – trying to orchestrate a voyage all over europe in late summer.

friends – been too busy to do stuff doing the week, still see friends on the weekends. need to reconnect with suburb friends.

business – i need to be thinking more actively.

chicago – i’ve been going out and doing stuff during the week instead of just chilling at my apartment and it feels great! need to keep this up, keep going to new places, keep exploring.

work – kicking ass, per usual. doing new things, educating myself, going above and beyond my company’s and my personal expectations.

finances – this is a tough one. i’m really good at spending money. i’m doing better at paying off my debt. major purchases are really only going to be tattoos, travel, and jet skis for summer. outside of that, no more records, minimal ebay, less eating out, being more conscious of my weekend drinking spending habits. been buying new clothes, but these are necessities, so that’s cool.
overall, not great, but definitely improving.

internet – not great, but better.

taking the world less seriously – baby steps. i need to start stepping outside of my comfort zone. all the time.

“if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’re going to keep getting the same results you’ve been getting”

in summary – i need to keep staying active during the week. i’ve been going to coffee shops and chilling and reading and studying. come home, chill for a bit and pass out. this is good. need to keep this up, and at the same time be thinking of ways for me to make my billions.
baby steps.

the hero appears.

February 15, 2010

good friend,
how loud do,
you want life,
to shout her,
answers in your ear.

wet hair.

February 2, 2010

she had wet hair
say what you will
i don’t care
i couldn’t resist it

these girls are raw
bikini girl
we need a ride to bikini island

we run the gauntlet
let’s get to france
so we can french kiss some french girls